New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
