Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
