K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
