Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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