No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
