i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
