sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
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