it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
