make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
