you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
