Screwed.edu
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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