do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
