You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
