Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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