Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
