I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You have to summon your inner elephant
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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