i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
