sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
