He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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