Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
