I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
