I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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