I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
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