can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
