you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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