Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
