Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
