Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
