If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
