girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
