My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Randomize
