I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
