She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
