He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
