Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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