i don't like sucking hair
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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