girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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