Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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