a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
