I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
