The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
