Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Found your dick twin last night
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize