You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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