Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
