i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
