And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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