nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
