3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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