yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
