This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
